Friday, February 8, 2013

The Light Bulb

This whole week I have shared my thoughts about how people shine their lights to this world.  I was honored to have 2 very special guest bloggers for the first time!  I have loved this week on the blog.

But it has been hard to figure out how I want to close it up.  How can I possibly wrap up all these amazing people's stories in one sweet conclusion package?  How can I sum up what it has meant.  How can I finish this series?

So.... I won't.

I will continue to, over the years, write about people who...
inspire me.
change me.
encourage me.
motivate me.
bless me.

But what for today?

Instead of finishing the series I am going to put myself out there a bit.  I am going to tell you a bit about me and my light.

I am sure (and know for a fact) that some people think I am a bit Pollyanna-ish.  It used to hurt my feelings a bit and confuse me.  Why would anyone want to criticize or put down someone because they try to be positive?  It boggles my mind.  Aren't there enough negative people out there?

But they, clearly, don't know me well.  I have not always been this content and hopeful.

Long ago, when I was younger, something happened in my life.  Something bad.  There are only a couple of handfuls of people on earth that know what happened.  My husband, family, close friends and now even my high school home group girls.  I trust them all.  But I didn't always trust so well.

What exactly happened doesn't matter.  What does matter, however, is that afterwards I was not the same.

I was changed.
I was fearful.
I didn't trust.
I was not positive.
I was not Pollyanna-ish.  At all.

It was like I was a light bulb whose filament had broken.  My light had be destroyed and there was no chance of repair.  I am pretty sure I was one of those milky white 25 watt incandescent bulbs.  You know the ones?  When it goes out you can't see that the filament has broken, it looks the same on the outside.  You have to shake it up to hear the damage.
I may have been smiling on the outside but not so much on the inside.

Sure I could just replace the light bulb but it wasn't the same.  It was like the wiring from the switch to the light had been messed with.  I took it out on my body and ate my way through the pain...for decades.

What changed?  What happened to change me from that broken bulb to the gal I am today?
I figured out where the glitch was.

The glitch was me.

I was focused on the broken filament.
I was focused on the faulty wiring.
I was focused on the bad stuff.
I thought I was a broken, faulty, big old mess.

So I chose a new light bulb.  I became an Edison light bulb.  They have clear glass, able for someone to see through to all of the inner workings.  The filaments are twisted and imperfect, but when the power switch is turned on they are artistic, inspiring and bright.  How did I do this?

I changed my focus.

I focused on being a new light bulb.
I focused on being fitted with new wires.
I focused on the good stuff.
I focused on the fact that I was still a mess...and that was a good thing!
I focused on what I had to be grateful for.
And......most importantly....I focused on who I was grateful to.


He is the power source for my light.
My light is a reflection of his love for me.
I am Pollyanna-ish because of him.

I intend on always being a content, happy gal who, to be honest,
just simply loves a not-so-simple God.

No perfection.  No apologies.  No regrets.  No broken light bulbs.

May you look at yourself as a new bulb.
May you focus on the source of your light.
May you be content and positive.

1 comment:

  1. love you, S. you're such a strong, incredible woman :) I'm lucky to call you my cousin.